THE UNIVERSAL COMEDY FLOW CHART™ by Doogie Horner
The comedy universe is large and confusing. There are as many jokes as there are stars in the sky. Navigating through uncharted areas, without a compass and sextant, an inexperienced traveler can quickly become lost. Luckily these areas have now been charted using the Universal Comedy Flow Chart™! Now you can throw away that compass, and stop chuckling at the word “sextant.”
Like the circle of life, the heavenly bodies, and the hula hoop, the six comedic humors form a circle. In the middle of the circle is the last uncharted area of comedy—the nexus. Scientists believe the funniest joke in the world lays in this uncharted zone, at the center of the circle. Once it’s discovered, and it’s mysteries unlocked, the funniest joke will be able to power cars, planes, underwater cities, and yes, even hoverboards.
Have fun exploring the comedy universe using the Universal Comedy Flow Chart™!
WARNING: Do not stare at the nexus of the Universal Comedy Flow Chart™ for more than three seconds. Prolonged staring can cause nosebleeds, temporary blindness, and in extreme cases, mind erasure.
Comments
Chip Chantry
August 19th, 2008 at 4:40 am
It all makes sense to me now.
Pruneface
August 19th, 2008 at 7:20 am
I have dibs on the Willie Nelson smoking weed with Jesus joke.
Kent
August 19th, 2008 at 7:49 am
I love this chart so so much. I want to frame it in my apartment.
Paolo
August 19th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Absolutely awe-inspiring. It feels like the Rosetta Stone of funny.
Lirp
August 19th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Did Kent Haines have early access to this chart? Phillly’s funniest indeed.
lirp.org
pat barker
August 19th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
This is the greatest thing ever. I never really realized that manslaughter is both a zany misunderstanding AND and embarrassing situation, but come to think of it… it is! Gold, Doogie.
Paul Triggiani
August 19th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
That is awe-inspiring! I can’t wait to hang it up in my cubicle.
**Sigh**
Doogie
August 20th, 2008 at 8:23 am
I might turn this into a screenprint and sell it at the Ministry, I’m not sure.
Brian
August 20th, 2008 at 9:48 am
I’m going to hand this to my extended family (whom I only see once or twice a year) the next time they ask me, “so you do the comedy, eh? What’s that all about?” And then, before they know it, I’ll be through the buffet style dinner before it gets cold. In short, thank you Doogie.
Matt
August 20th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I would totally buy this from you at the Ministry. Now, are you going to tell me you made this before or after you saw our sketch about doing the six major types of standup- the sketch you “coincidentally” had us cut from the last Ministry, hmmmm? Choose your answer wisely.
Matt from Pierre
Dr Zibbs
August 21st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Not a too shabby
Pruneface
August 21st, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Matt Pierre, you’re too close to the truth. The next “coincidence” that’s going to happen is I’m going to murder you and erase all traces of every sketch you’ve ever performed.
briancraig
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:16 pm
wait a minute, doogie!
before you go and make a screenprint of this, there’s a typo! you spelled “limericks” with a Y.
-b.
Archie
August 18th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
On the chart, “you suck”, and “my knob” are unconnected. As a matter of fact, “my knob” is completely unconnected from anything else. What a tragedy.