TOP 5 Lists of 2009 (the last of them!)
As we count down the hours until 2010, here are the last of the Top 5 of 2009 lists from Philadelphia comedians.
The Top Five Bits By Philly Comics Of 2009 by Luke Giordano
5. AARON HERTZOG’S “SCIENCE TEACHER”
This bit is the summation of what Aaron Hertzog is onstage. It includes a fundamental misunderstanding of the opposite sex, the sexualization of food, the self-realization of his own absurd behavior, and not least of all, funny noises. This bit is so steeped in adolescent fantasy that Aaron actually uses pornographic movies as the logical basis for his assumption that his presumably middle aged science teacher wants to have sex with him as well as a justification for her insistence that he barter the answers to a 9th grade science test for sexual favors. And Aaron never really says that he thinks any of this is a bad idea. You even get a sense that porn is the ONLY point of reference for him from this bit. The very notion of all this would be ridiculous and absurd to the point of criminal if it didn’t make absolute sense from a male viewpoint. OF COURSE he should have made those two girls suck his dick for letting them cheat off his science test. OF COURSE his post-menopausal science teacher wanted to teach him the ways of lovemaking and usher him into manhood. Why wouldn’t she? But Aaron seals off the absurdity of the bit with an exasperated, “I’m a fucking idiot” at the end, acknowledging the reality after two minutes of fantasy, bringing us back down to Earth.
Also, he wiggles around and says “yum yum yum.”
4. DOOGIE HORNER’S “GENTLEMANLY CUSTOMS” / “EAGLES”
These bits really showcase the two different sides of Doogie’s style of comedy. In the first bit, he rips the carpet out from under the concepts of chivalry and gentlemanly sacrifice by sneaking up behind us rather than with a direct assault of. He uses examples in an extended flight of fancy to show us why these accepted practices are stupid rather than simply telling us that they are stupid. And as with a lot of Doogie’s longer bits, the comedy’s all in the precision and the details. He builds the scenario he’s created to a rapid fire climax and cuts the whole thing down with a bit of appropriate non-sequitur smut.
The Eagles bit is just a great short joke. And it instills the audience with a great visual — the mighty majestic eagle, that symbol of power, engaged in what has to be very awkward bird sex.
TOP 5 Lists of 2009 (yet even more!)
As we count down the hours until 2010, here are more Top 5 of 2009 lists from Philadelphia comedians.
Doogie Horner, stand-up, host of The Ministry of Secret Jokes
5. Henry Foley vs. Luke Giordano at the Raven Lounge debate
The Raven debate is always entertaining, but this match was especially interesting because of the contestant’s diametrically opposite approaches. The debate was, Who would be a better wingman: Darth Vader or Scorpion from Mortal Kombat? Luke had Vader and Foley had Scorpion. Foley took an early lead as the crowd favorite, being very personable and friendly, and clearly having fun. Luke came in all business. He appeared confident that his superior knowledge of Star Wars would give him an edge, but it actually worked against him since the crowd didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. Foley easily walked all over him until the final round when he suggested that Scorpion would use his trademark “Get over here!” move to snare women from across the bar. The crowd thought that was really funny until Luke—in a stunning comeback—explained that what Foley had described was basically ninja rape.
Philly Comics Head Off to Boston
The Boston Comedy Festival starts this weekend and Philly stand-up comedians Doogie Horner (profile), Conrad Roth (profile), Pete Kuempel (profile) (who lives up by New York now, but still counts) and Anton Shuford will be heading up to perform and compete in the contest. Anton will try to keep the momentum going from winning Philly’s Phunniest Person earlier this month. The grand prize for winning the contest is a whooping $10,000 and judging by the list of comedians performing, the competition will be steep.
Meg and Rob’s “Fog of Love” video has also been accepted for the “Imagine Movie Night” at Mottley’s Comedy Club next Monday. Here’s the video below for those of you that can’t make it up there:
In its ninth year, the festival started as a way to showcase New England stand-up comedy talent to bigger audiences and the entertainment industry. Since then it’s expanded to include acts outside of the area along with national stars such as George Carlin, Gallagher and this year Lewis Black, performing a show called “Let Them Eat Cake.”
Anton Shuford is the 2009 Philly’s Phunniest Person
So after two long weeks of competition and too many misspellings of the word “funniest”, a winner has been decided. At the Phinals last night (hey-o!), the judges, comprised of comedians (Kevin Brennan, B-Phlat), industry folks and other Philadelphia media members voted Anton Shuford as the 2009 Philly’s Phunniest Person.
Jared Gillespie took second place and Chip Chantry took third.
Going into the competition, Anton was certainly one of the favorites out of the 153 comedians to win it all. But Anton tells stories, and as a regular feature performer at Helium, he’s usually given 20-25 minutes to do so. How would he do with six minutes when every second counts? Turns out he did more than fine: the first line of his set for every round was “this story doesn’t have a beginning, so lets get into it,” quickly getting to the point. From there, a story about catching a foul ball at a baseball game with a constant stream of laughs and then a few more jokes with what time he had left.
I had the opportunity to briefly talk with Anton after he won:
Helium will host a show this Wednesday with all of the finalists (except for Anton because he may be in Wildwood) at 8PM.
The Philly’s Phunniest Person “Phinalists”
Ladies and Gentleman, from this evening’s two packed shows, your Philly’s Phunniest Person Finalists are in no particular order:
Doogie Horner
Pat House
Chip Chantry
Anton Shuford
Jared Gillespie
Ed McGongical
David Ray
Jack Martin
Sunday night’s 7PM show will decide who wins all the marbles (that’s a phrase, right?). I don’t know about you, but the contest seems to be wide open. Who you got?
Philly’s Phunniest Preliminary Results for Tuesday, July 28th
And so it begins. Dreams will be realized, and dreams will be crushed. A very energetic, sold out crowd last night voted along three comedians to the semi-finals and they are: Anton Shuford, Darryl Charles and Carl Boccuti.
I like talking about what the comedians talked about, because it makes no sense if you weren’t there. Anton got the crowd worked up by talking about a foul ball he caught at a baseball game, Darryl spent a lot of time on buying asparagus at the grocery store (I’m also a fan of the vegetable) and Carl used most of his time trying to decipher the language that his students use (he’s a teacher). So not typical topics you hear at a comedy show.
The contest continues tonight as more comedians will be voted on to the next round.
KNOW YOUR HECKLERS for this Wednesday at the Ministry of Secret Jokes
At this Wednesday’s MINISTRY OF SECRET JOKES show, host Doogie Horner will have three stand-up comics facing one of their biggest fears. In the new game “You Suck”, three comics will be intentionally heckled by members of the audience. To prepare the comedians and yourself, Doogie has created this handful guide to the different types of hecklers. Get your “I don’t come to your work…” retorts ready.
VIDEO: Highlights from the Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show, 11/3
It’s been two weeks since our last stand-up show and we’re still basking in the aftermath of such a historic event for our country. No, not really, but today we’ll still share some highlights from the show with Gregg Gethard, Ryan Carey, John Kensil and Anton Shuford:
Are you depressed that you missed it and have taken a vow to never do so again? Fear not, as the next show is Monday, December 1st and we’ll have the lineup of comedians for you later this week. And if you haven’t already, become our friend on Facebook for a reminder.
TONIGHT: The Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show!
So, make sure you and your friends come out to:
The Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show
Monday, November 3rd, 2008
8PM
at the Shubin Theatre (407 Bainbridge St.) [directions]
Five American Dollars [tickets can be bought at the PHIT website]
Featuring:
Gregg Gethard
Ryan CareyAaron Hertzog John Kensil
Anton Shuford
For a look at the show, check out the video from our last show with Tim Ryan, Luke Giordano, Doogie Horner and Chip Chantry:
COMING SOON: The Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show!, 11/3
So, make sure you and your friends come out to:
The Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show
Monday, November 3rd, 2008
8PM
at the Shubin Theatre (407 Bainbridge St.) [directions]
Five American Dollars [tickets can be bought at the PHIT website]
Featuring:
Gregg Gethard
Ryan Carey
Aaron Hertzog
Anton Shuford
To see what the show’s like, check out the video from our last show with Tim Ryan, Luke Giordano, Doogie Horner and Chip Chantry:
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